My life has been non-stop Coast Guard since the 29th of October.
On Friday, the 29th of October, I drove to Petaluma to attend the Coast Guard Chief Petty Officer’s Academy. 33 days of boot camp for old farts. Sort of. There was lots of Physical Fitness such as running a timed mile and a half, two nine mile bike rides, a 10K, a hike at Bodega Bay, aerobics, sit-ups, push-ups, interactive stretches, and weight machines. We had to earn 10,000 Points on the Presidential Fitness Challenge website, so in addition to the forced runs, bike rides, interactive stretches at our desks, and push-ups, I played racquetball, walked, and rode my bike at home on the weekends.
However, [get ready cause this shits about to get heavy] CPOA also involved classes on Leadership, self improvement aka Bob Moawad’s Increasing Human Effectiveness Seminars on DVD w/classroom discussions and workbooks, Unit Specific Factors, systems and change management, coaching and counseling, personality types, Individual learning styles, motivation models, ethics, Coast Guard Core Values, Coast Guard history, and team building exercises. As part of formal introductions, anybody who said that they went to CPOA to learn better communication skills was required, i.e. assigned, to make a formal introduction. On the first day of CPOA everyone was asked to give two reasons they were attending CPOA. As a result of my answer, I was assigned to formally introduce VADM Allen, The Chief of Staff of the U.S. Coast Guard, to the class for a video-teleconference. I think a little over a quarter of the class was assigned formal introductions. One person had the privilege of introducing the Commandant, and yet another introduced the Master Chief Petty Officer of the Coast Guard. VADM Allen is the third Senior Officer in the CG and I’m just fine with that.
There were sixty-five Chiefs in my class, the designation of which was, Chief Petty Officer Academy Class CXXI (Those are Roman numerals for 121, Mandx). This was one of the largest classes ever and as such, we were divided into two classrooms. We were further divided into teams of eight with four teams to a room. In each room there was a blue team, red team, green team, and a gold team. If, for example, you were on the gold team, as I was, your roommate would be on the other gold team. At the end of each week, they would have one team color switch rooms with its counterpart. This kept the Chief’s circulating, and though I was never in the same room as the other gold team, all of my teammates were roommates with the other gold team members. The importance of this detail is about to be revealed.
As a part of Presentations, we were required to well… yeah, give presentations. Everything was about testing and pushing your comfort zone. So we started off gradual and built up. This is to say that the first presentations aren’t really worth mentioning. This is also to say that there were a lot. I mean, the first were like, “This is my new friend, X, and he has been in the Coast Guard all his bloomin life. He was born on the crest of a wave. His mother was a mermaid and his father was King Neptune.” And so on and so forth. So, for our first big presentation… Stasha, I don’t think that anyone actually had a mermaid for a mother… where was I? Our first big presentation… our team was divided in half to give two “Unit Specific Factors” presentations. This involved researching one member’s unit (Stick with me Webmaster) and breaking it down into parts to allow each member to present on an aspect of the unit for a total of twenty minutes. Our second big presentation was as a team and involved, “Morning Quarters”, i.e. passing of useful Coast Guard related information for a total of thirty minutes. Our third presentation was as a team and involved a system undergoing change in the Coast Guard. Our team was assigned “Deepwater” and it just so happened that the other gold team was assigned “Deepwater”. This is when we got smart and worked in unison with the other gold team by working with our roommates to research the material and create the accompanying slide show. Our fourth [big] presentation was on “Respect for others and Diversity Management.” This was the final presentation and lasted forty minutes.
On December 01st we graduated with a formal military dinner ceremony held at the Doubletree Hotel Grand Ballroom in Rohnert Park, California.
On December 03rd, I reported to Group San Francisco. My new assignment is Operation Specialist in charge of the Communications Center. Prior to the rate merge of QM, TC, and RD into OS, this was a Telecommunication Specialist (TC) job. As a former Quartermaster (QM) I have never worked in a Communications Center. I’m essentially learning a new rate on top of being at a new job with new people and having to learn Group San Francisco’s Area of Responsibility (AOR). So, to say the least, I have a lot on my plate right now.
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In other news.
Lil Dave and I attended the Chinese Martial Arts and Entertainment Institute’s annual Christmas party in Belmont last night. There are three schools: Belmont, Fremont, and Lil Dave’s school in Oakland. Each school got on stage to perform. Despite Lil Dave’s apprehension, as he had missed class the entire time I was at CPOA, he did a great job on stage. In addition to the school’s many performances, there were three members of a Chinese acrobat team that put on an amazing show. Have you ever seen Chinese Acrobats? This one chick… Ugh, I can’t explain it. Sounds dirty. If you ever get the chance, go and see them. … Anyway… Stay with me Webmaster. I’ll tell you about it over a beer. … [somebody spoke and I went into a dream] … Master Henry performed with his Chinese yo-yo’s. Master Chung threw chopsticks into a board, walked across light bulbs in the on position barefoot, and shattered a bottle of Perrier by smacking it on its top. Hey! You try it. In addition, there were three raffles… Dave just wanted the X-Box. I just wanted one of the bottles of Merlot. And, the same lady as last year won the grand-prize, $300. I think it was rigged.
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Today, we drove out to our new house which is still being built in Vallejo. I had to pay the electrician $450 under the table to install cable and phone outlets in the kid’s room and a fan outlet in the loft. This would have cost $500 just to request the work through the Builder and if they accepted the request, an additional $750 for the work itself. We previously paid $500 to request a modification. The request was denied and they kept the $500… So, we decided to take the under the table route. When we got to the house, we discovered that the work had already been done. I wrote a check for $450 and that was that.
While I was in CPOA, Aidee went to the design center and purchased $55K in upgrades. I can’t wait to see what the house looks like. The grand total for our new home is
: Five hundred and thirty-four thousand and seven hundred dollars (U.S.).
Quick! Somebody splash some water on Pie.
Rooty, tooty, fresh and fruity,
Zelig X, GAG
Brought to you by the number F and the letter 2
Courtesy of Sgt. Pepper’s Lonely Hearts Club Band
Labels: CW, Graphites, USCG
